My Summer Stretch: What Mah Jong Is Teaching Me About Leadership

If you had told me a year ago that one of my biggest leadership lessons this summer would come from teaching Mah Jong, I probably would have laughed.

Yet here I am, spending evenings around my kitchen table teaching women how to play a game I love. While they think they're learning tiles and strategy, I'm realizing we're all learning something much bigger.

One of the very first rules in Mah Jong is that when you're the dealer, you deal to yourself first.

At first, it can feel selfish.

But isn't that exactly what I tell my coaching clients?

You can't lead others if you're running on empty. You can't show up confidently for interviews, your team, or your family if you haven't taken care of yourself first. Self-care isn't selfish, it's necessary.

Another rule I repeat often is, "Never use a joker in a pair."

In Mah Jong, it's simply against the rules.

It made me think about careers. Looking for shortcuts rarely leads to the best outcome. Just as I encourage my clients to stop relying solely on applying through online job postings, the strongest career moves usually come from authentic conversations, trusted relationships, and building genuine connections. There are some things you simply can't substitute.

Then there's my favorite lesson.

No matter which tile you throw away, someone around the table usually says, "Oh...I needed that!"

Eventually you realize something important.

No matter what you discard, it will probably help someone else, or you'll wish you'd kept it.

So, you stop overthinking.

You make a decision.

You throw a tile.

Careers work much the same way. We spend so much time trying to make the perfect move that we often make no move at all. The greatest risk isn't making a mistake it's standing still. Reach out to someone. Start the conversation. Explore the opportunity. Trust that you'll learn far more from acting than waiting for certainty.

And finally, while everyone wants to win, the truth is that the people around the table matter just as much as the game itself.

Yes, we celebrate a Mah Jong.

And we also celebrate each other.

We laugh.

We tell stories.

We encourage the newest player.

We learn from one another.

Isn't that exactly what we should be looking for in our careers?

The right role isn't simply the biggest title or the highest paycheck. It's finding a place where you're challenged, supported, respected, and surrounded by people who make you better.

Perhaps the biggest surprise has been what teaching Mah Jong has taught me.

It's taught me patience.

Every new player learns at a different pace. Some need encouragement. Some need reassurance. Some simply need permission to make mistakes.

And it strengthened my own confidence.

Not because I know all the answers because I've learned to trust that I can help others discover them for themselves.

Maybe that's why I've fallen in love with teaching this game.

It's never really been about tiles.

It's always been about the people around the table.

And maybe leadership is the same.

Because top talent doesn't just work hard, it continues to stretch, learn, and grow.

– Gwen Silverstein, Founder, Top Talent Matters

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